You are Special is a children’s book beautifully written by Max Lucado. It’s leading character, Punchinello, lives in a village where, if you are “bad”, strange, or different, you are given dots by the other townspeople. If you are “good”, beautiful, or acceptable, you are given stars. The townspeople walk up to each other and place these stickers upon one another as to inform them that they are either acceptable or unacceptable.
One day Punchinello meets a girl who has neither stars or dots and asks how that is possible. She informs him that she has visited the wood carver, their creator, and so Punchinello decides to do so as well. During his visit with the woodcarver, they discuss this situation with the dots, stars, and townspeople and the woodcarver goes to explain that it doesn’t matter what the people think of him but what his creator thinks of him. He proceeds to tell him that he thinks he is special, and he needs to find value in his worth; that the creator put in him and let go of the judgments passed on by others.
At the beginning of April, we had the loss of our third child due to a miscarriage. I was just around 8 weeks so the news of the pregnancy was still new and fresh. Word had trickled out already of the exciting new arrival. I have been receiving words of congratulations and inquiry of the due date even up to today. People have looked at my stomach, confused as to why they haven’t seen quite a bump yet or due to the wonderful pooch I currently have, they say comments of admiration of the pregnancy belly when it is really just the fat.;)
Through all of these congratulations and awkward stomach admiration I try to quickly save as much “face” for them as for myself and I tell them that I am no longer pregnant and have had a miscarriage. There are some times where I am completely fine and I try to make the other person not feel awkward about the moment. More often than not, in the circumstance, I want to run, hide, and have someone else explain to them what has happened.
Today, while at church, a woman came up to me and looked at my stomach with question in her eyes. I explained quickly, before anything was said, that I had a miscarriage. She looked at me with sympathy beyond measure and explained how sorry she was and accompanied it with a gentle hug. Those words and that hug spoke volumes to me because this particular woman had just lost her son to suicide a few months a go and here she was comforting me on a loss of a child. Wow, strength in the midst of weakness and the power of connection between friends! What comfort that moment brought me when I was just choking back tears because I just had to explain the loss moments a go with someone else.
I was thanking the Lord for that moment we shared though it was brief. As we sat down in church we had some friends come up to us and sit on either side of us and then we turned and another couple decided to sit behind us. We were surrounded by our friends. It happened immediately and none of it was planned by any earthly measures. Funny we actually all attend different services and never sit together. We proceeded to sing a song, “How Great is our God” by Chris Tomlin. Sitting there, thinking about the woman I had seen a moment a go, looking at our friends surrounding us on all sides, and singing one of my favorite reminders of how great our God is brought me to tears. In the midst of the heartache of loss, God wrapped his arms around me and there I found comfort in His arms. Here He is, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and He still finds those times to let me know, little me, He is there and He is in control. Where do you find your comfort? Look for those moments and let them be a treasure to you!
My daughter went flower picking in the backyard today. It’s the little things. ❤